Coping Strategies: 1. Find a good counselor/therapist who can help you with the healing process.
2. Talk with a trusted friend. (Some recommend that you give your friend a hypothetical situation similar to your own and see how the friend reacts, before telling the friend that it happened to you.)
3. Write a letter to the perpetrator expressing your pain, anger, hatred and (if need be) forgiveness. (Some people believe that the best way to move beyond the pain is to express forgiveness even when there are no real feelings backing it up. The act of forgiveness can help some people to heal.) Some people would recommend that you not actually send this letter, as it may serve as ammunition that the perp might try to use against you. (Gamma Jill never sent her letter to the rapist... but I did give the letter to my older brother. It was the only way I could finally tell him how he messed up my life.)
4. Find a chat room or supportive message board for people who have had experiences similar to you. Knowing you are not alone in your emotions often gives you the strength to begin healing.
5. Write a poem, a short story, or a play that deals with your experiences. (This does not necessarily have to be shared with anyone. But it helps to get it written down and get it out of the front of your head.)
If you would like to post it on this site to share with other survivors here, click here. 6. Exercise: Sometimes the best way to cope is to rid oneself of excess energy dealing with the stress of coping.
7. Change your attention from the pain by watching a movie, playing a game, going for a drive, whatever you can find to enjoy some fun! You deserve it - HONEST!!!
8. If need be, find a true friend that you can completely trust and ask him/her to go to a quiet place. (For me it was the beach, watching the waves. It should be outside of your home/apartment so you can once again feel safe outside.) Tell them ahead of time that you don't necessarily feel the need to talk with them... nor should they feel they have to keep you talking. You mainly need them to sit back and protect yourself, so that you may finally be able to go in to a trance and finally begin to heal inside. (Gamma Jill recommends the friend so that they can watch out for any outsiders, while you take care of the hurt person inside of your mind.)
9. Now comes a hard one: Deciding whether you should report the incident or not. (Gamma Jill knows that this is a very difficult step to take. There were so many reasons why I should have reported my incidents, but then there were reasons why I couldn't. Even though I knew for a fact that the list was larger for reporting it, the damage that would have been done to myself for doing so was much more painful. You will need to weigh out your options and make the best decision on your own feelings.)
10. Over my many years of healing, I went to many different "Support Groups". It helped me to talk with others. (Back then I didn't know about computers.) And when I was going to those groups... I was helping others become survivors as they were helping me. With computers being so much more common now, I feel I am still able to help myself become a stronger survivor by helping newly hurt "future survivors". By helping others... I give myself the best medicine. You might try doing this also.
If you would like to share your story with others here on Gamma Jill's Site click here.
11. Many others will also suggest that you take this time to Pray. They will reassure you that God listens, and that He will be with you throughout this ordeal. If this will give you more strength... Than go for it!!! But please, if some survivors choose not to turn to God for strength... Don't judge them for their decision. And please... don't push Him in to their faces. They already feel judged enough on the situation that brought them here. They don't need more judgement in their life at this time.
